Mr. Thian Hock Guan

Staff

Drugs destroyed my life and my relationship with my family. I will never forget the Chinese New Year eve of 1977. I had lost heavily at gambling and was feeling despondent. With the few dollars I had I made my first purchase of drugs. That was the beginning of my nightmare. I became addicted to drugs and began my life of frequent stints in prison. In 1992 my wife divorced me for she had had enough, and I was given custody of our two children. This was a devastating blow, and that was when I met a Christian friend who invited me to church and I, a Taoist, went through the motions of accepting Jesus Christ. However, my faith was without foundation and on Sundays, I would hold the Bible while smoking or consuming drugs at the same time. I had the appearance of a devout Christian but I did not have Jesus in my heart; I continued to lead a dissipated secret life.   

I was imprisoned 5 times and sent to the DRC twice, and I was given a total of 27 strokes of the cane. But all this had no effect on me. After each release from prison, my ex-wife would return the children to me since I had custody, but I never played the role of a father as I continued to live unrestrained and wallow in drugs. Although I had custody of my children I forfeited the right and responsibility of looking after them as I was often in jail. I lost the final chance to be father to my children when, under the hallucinating influence of ice, I forced them to reveal the address of my ex-wife whom I intended to harm. My son, a policeman in NS, called the police and I was arrested and subsequently jailed for 5 years for drug abuse and intimidation. I was unrepentant and even enraged as I felt betrayed by my own flesh and blood. I refused to meet my family members while in prison, relenting only once to see my mother who was dying of cancer. I was beyond help.   

During these 5 years in jail I took stock of my life and realized the mess that I was in. I resolved to change my life upon my release, and applied to be admitted to Breakthrough Missions for rehabilitation. Unfortunately this was not approved because of my poor conduct while in prison. I drifted back to drugs soon after my release. One night, I was overcome by the feeling that life was meaningless and I was weary of living in darkness. I flipped open the Bible and the passage that caught my eye was 2 Timothy 3:1-5. I felt the sharp rebuke of God’s word – that I had disobeyed my mother’s counsel, I was selfish, and I was even in the process of suing my own sister and son for money. That was God’s wake-up call for me! I immediately called my lawyer to withdraw all the charges, and then called Freddy, the Deputy Executive Director of Breakthrough Missions, to seek admission. 

Praise the Lord! I have been free of drugs and cigarettes since I came to Breakthrough in 2005. Here I have found true peace and joy in Jesus Christ. I am reminded of the pain and hurt I caused my family each time my Breakthrough brothers have family members come visiting, and I feel a deep sense of remorse. I am thankful to the Lord for the forgiveness of my sins and the new life I’ve been given. I had gone on the wrong path and lost my family. I use every opportunity to share my testimony with the brothers and encourage them to cherish their loved ones. I also pray often for my children and hope that our broken relationship can be restored. For the wrongs I have committed, I want to say to my beloved family, “I am sorry. Please forgive me.” Praise the Lord! Although I may feel discouraged sometimes as I wait for the Lord to answer my prayers, God is faithful and He helps me build my faith in praying. Today, I have made contact with my daughter, and she has forgiven me and accepted me once again. Praise the Lord! 

I have been at Breakthrough Missions for more than 10 years now. I hope to continue serving faithfully here and be worthy of the grace the Lord has given me.